“Life Is A Series Of Disillusionments”
By =Lorna Anne
It seems that this is the case for many. It begins by recognizing that Mother and/or Father are not the perfect, super-human beings we thought they were. This is proved to us by some fault of theirs of which we are suddenly made conscious. The statue tumbles from its pedestal and we now see them as weak or in error.
Our second disillusionment is personal failure. We desperately want to achieve something. We give it considerable thought and we take on the challenge; but, we come up short in some way (utter failure, or possibly being only a notch or two below expectation). Yet, it makes us realize that we are not infallible, that we have an exaggerated sense of self, and it’s time to face up to our weakness. Tough one!
Then we move on to the experience of love with a significant other. Initially our new love is like the sun, moon and stars to us (head-over-heels in love). We think about them all day long, we fantasize, we analyze (if we’re insecure); and overall, they become a fixation, which eventually becomes a fixture. Your partner changes, you change, the glamor fades like stardust, the passions cool in the boudoir. If this downward spiral of alienation continues, the relationship loses all Eros, and when that goes, we recognize disillusionment: where has that glittering path led? To eyeing the door with misplaced desire.
Lastly, where we live may transform from romantic and nouveau to secure and stifling, tedious and boring, and we long to re-locate, but where? The list continues on…
How do we overcome the negative transformation that happens as a result of these disappointments? As, over the years, we turn from optimistic and open to jaded and suspicious? To start, we must accept that we and our world are in an imperfect state. Although we are born with genetically transferred knowledge, we aren’t given a manual as to how to operate in life. We learn from our mistakes, unless we refuse to see we make mistakes.
Second, we need to seek objectivity and not see our world through our own lens, seeing only what we want to see. What is really going on around us rather than what we’d like to see happen. Act as a chronicler, rather than creator, of what is going on around you. Focus on what is there and what can truly be recorded. With that approach, we gain a clear picture of how things really are, rather than should-pictures.
Third, we need courage to take on our not-so-perfect world and perfect it through our efforts and choices. We must live to attain the perfection we seek and to create it by our actions of love, kindness and forgiveness toward all those other imperfect creations.